you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
