Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
