I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
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I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
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I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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