so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
