i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
