How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
