Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
