I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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