So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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