you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
