whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
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