For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
