Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Did I show you my penis last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize