she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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