Dual....:-)
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Randomize
