youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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