he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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