i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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