$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize