Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
25 Times Terrible Advice Was Given To A Teenager
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!