went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
These 31 Gross People Really Put The ‘Trash’ In ‘Trashed’
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
21 Bartenders That Are Definitely Winning At Their Jobs
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.