So drunk its hurt
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
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Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
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There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid