The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
It's rum buckets o'clock
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
