Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
