I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
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I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
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Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
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