I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
