he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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