I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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