So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Randomize
