Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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