I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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