batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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