It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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