I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize