1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
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