I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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