these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
You're a waste of cheezeits
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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