'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
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Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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