I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Randomize
