are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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