Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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