I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
You may now shotgun with the bride
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
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