He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
birth control should be required to get into college
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
