Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
