I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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