i just wanna soil my oats bro
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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