last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
only you would photoshop your dick
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
