Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
