Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
All I want is dick and wine.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Randomize
