My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
