we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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