I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
