it was like his penis was on wheels.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
