i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
