And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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