3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
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