okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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