The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
