I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
