I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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