I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Randomize
