yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
My vagina just clenched in fear
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
