PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I didn't notice because vodka
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
