Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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