don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Randomize
