There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Randomize
