Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
