i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Randomize