He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
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