a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
