I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
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