The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
